Friday, October 3, 2008

So how do you manage...?

Believe me, since the time I have starting working after having a kid (or even perhaps concieved), which is about almost five years, I would have answered this question a zillion times, to every colleague/friend/aquaintance/relative we met.

Following is a short description of how we manage our chaotic, highly dependable (!) lives:

We got Susheela home when she was about 18 years old from an agency in Delhi as a baby care taker and domestic help. Living in Delhi was a dream as I would call my parents/sister (all in town) even when S (our son) would sneeze. Susheela was this timid and shy girl who towards the end of two years of staying with us, I can proudly say, became confident and independent. We were this one big (3+our maid) happy family - son was growing up to be inquisitive, bratty and fiercely independent – much to the delight of this working couple who were incidentally doing fairly ok in their respective careers squeezing out as much "quality time" as possible.

Life was so far smooth albeit a few hiccups here and there but thrown into a tizzy by second half on '07 - We moved to Bangalore and after few months of pleading and prodding, Susheela finally decided to go to Assam to meet family, dashing all our hopes to dirt. To be fair, she was with us for more than two years, like "family", so we gave her a happy farewell with my mind already getting flooded with THE worry of finding a trustworthy and long lasting domestic help and her training!

Next morning, we called for a local 9-6 help – although my job is/was/always demanding, I adjusted to her schedule. She worked for less than a month, took her salary with which she would buy clothes for her kids for Christmas and went off for two days vacation, which got extended to 10 days (so I was informed on a roaming mobile phone) and then to infinity. They too have a life and you got to be FAIR!

I was reeling under tremendous pressure -- new city, new job, no domestic help, a silent crusader running on two little legs, a TV addict but extremely supportive hubby – I pressed the panic button and shamelessly sent an SOS to my parents in Delhi. Poor guys came flying, always there to bail my sister and me of such petty but life changing issues.

With them around life was great, S was happiest although my hubby was complaining of over exposure to in-laws! We posted my parents-in-law to be the next in line and with that we covered the first quarter of the year peacefully but the hunt was always ON!

We got lucky the fourth time - our fourth maid stayed for almost two years and has now chosen to get married and you know, settle down (not bothering to work and all unlike mere mortal like me!). While the hunt in ON again and guess who is coming to our rescue now - my parents in-law! God bless our parents, they are never annoyed at our SENSEX-kind of lives. If you ask me what keeps me going, its theirs and my dear hubby's support. Undoubtedly!

Our life’s like that and all the Susheelas make it quite happening. Sometimes I wonder if my constant struggle to balance ‘life: read marriage -motherhood-relationships-home’ vs. ‘work’ is really worth it. Will I be less paranoid, will life be more peaceful, less stressful – may be yes, may be not. I will, however, keep you posted about our progress in the subsequent quarters and many others…

Disclaimer: With no intentions to hurt anyone's sentiments!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!! But its amazing the way she balances the see-saw of work & life!!:-)

Archana Doshi said...

Surely hilarious, I dint know weather to laugh or empathize. I do hope "A Shusheela" comes by, but i guess before you know, the 5 year will soon be independent first grader. But just to make you feel better, life on my side is as busy as ever managing, home, kids and trying to get that little adult company and trying also to do something for myself, which may not even be remunerative :).

Jandy said...

yup - it's tough all right - and the grass the other side of the fence is greener - i elected to stay at home, and now sit in envy of working moms like you. :-)