Books.Books.Books - Wonderful Books!

I have always loved books throught out my growing up years - there's little time to read now a days - but the love for books and the pleasure of reading the backcover and picking up a book is tempting! Hubby treasures his childhood Sherlock Homes and the many Targets, TinTins which are now torn, turned brown but locked in a safe!

Not sure if becuase of that S likes books but today when he told me that he is very excited to go to school because he has library class, I feel good - not that he will become a great scientist or a philosopher when he grows up but happy to relate to him. Just the thought of being in the middle of tons of books, freedom of picking any book you want, turning through its leaves and putting it back is - enlightening.

Obviously his interest in books is way too different from us when we were his age - he is into Nature Science, Dinosaurs, Reptiles and other graphical and sometimes gory books - I can't even stand a picture of a Gila monster in one of his books! My early books were the gentle Enid Blytons...I guess the new generation has the tendency to know and know more, perhaps moving away from Fiction.

On libraries, I wonder what libraries in schools now are like - do they have that bespectacled, qualified librarian who is super well-read and who knows the kind of books you might like, the small ladders to reach the top shelves, the 'silence please' boards which are always ignored, huge wooden long tables and comfortable chairs...and most important that smell of books. Ah, heaven...I most definitely enjoyed my school libraries the most. By the time we got to college, it was mostly limited to text books, and no time to sit and read. There were more hippier things to do, you see! And by the way, one of the "in-things" those days was also to visit the foreign libraries in town. The ones like the British and the American libraries. What fun it was visiting them - trying to look busy browsing in midst a rather hip and intellectual crowd!

Sadly, there aren't many around - and the crosswords of the world - definitely can't replace the old library charm. Hope our next generation gets to have fond memories with books and their adobe starting from school!

Explaining Natural Disasters to Kids

This post is triggered by a fancy and imaginative story about demons and monsters who created a tsunami, which S recently narrated to me. He apparently heard it from his friend who was told so by his mother.

I believe every parent has a way and method to explain natural disasters to kids. In this new age media where dramatic pictures are all across television and print, it is impossible to shield children from brutal reality - and may be we should not.


With what happened in Japan, S's (who is going to be 7) curiosity knew no limits - his questions ranged from what is a tsunami to if Japan still exists as a country or are we short of one country in the world!

It is hard to answer all their questions where you are balancing between being practical and at the same time assuring. After all, how would one respond when the kids ask - "what if it happens to us"? I usually respond by saying, hope and pray it doesn't and ever happens to us. But that leaves me wondering if that is enough - how do we prepare them for future, how do we make them brave, how do we make them resilient?

As someone said, let them be, they will learn on their own. And surely they will - but I believe a lot of our kid's behaviour is a reflection of our own - we need to be more prepared, brave and resilient. In a crisis situation, do they see us as facing it head-on or are we getting worried, stressed and breaking down. From what I see in Japan, people have been awesomely stoic and brave even after what they have been through. I haven't seen many wailing people across streets on television - perhaps thats taking things head-on. Perhaps their children have been and will be better prepared for future - even if it means going through a nuclear disaster...only time will tell! Surely something for us and our kids to learn...

"I"

Two kids, one spouse, two parents, one job, two domestic helps, one driver, one cook and still I can't find time to blog. Something's otta be wrong with me...

Jokes apart, life goes through a tumble with the arrival of a brand new baby. In our case, we have been blessed with 'I' last October - one cutie bundle of joy. And what a joy they bring -

Infectious smile beaming at you
Innocent yet naughty round big button eyes looking out for you
Tiny plump hands touching you
Pink mouth cooing and spitting at you
Soft little feet pushing you
Packaged in a delicate skin for you
Waiting to be nurtured, protected and loved by you...

Arrival of 'I' has ensured that everyone around him is in a constant state of action - and he is growing up quickly. It is a wonder how babies learn so fast- do they get tutored in their sleep? So while he is learning the tricks, S is on a jet plane to 'grown up' land. He wants to know everything, EVERYTHING. We are trying our best to impart the best knowledge to him but he has already learnt fast that you can 'Google' everything and find your answers. Kudos to technology, they might make parents also obsolete very soon!

Raising kids is perhaps THE most challenging job of all times, in these times. As parents, you have to be smart, funny, suave, with-IT, in IT, on IT (?) etc. And despite your best efforts you don't know if you will be able to be the 'cool parents of the boys; that you aspire to be. Why worry now but thats a thought...

Until next time, I find time in the conundrum called life!

Sleeping beauty

Once upon a time there was a little girl who would love to sleep for hours - unconscious of the world around her she would remain in her bliss. Her school was far away in the woods so she would have to get up very early in the morning to catch a bus lest she would miss the school for the day. Waking her up was an arduous task for her folks - some days her dad would flinch to wake up the sleeping beauty which used to make the mom angry. Invariably, the little girl would mostly end-up standing in the 'late-comers' line in the school along with her elder sister. Elder sister for many years used her 'Prefect' of the school status and managed to get the little girl out of trouble.

As the little girl grew up, the burden of studies started taking a toll on her sleep - she would end-up finishing her course till the last minute and eventually burn the midnight oil. Her love for sleep for always there - but alas the want to be an educated, smart girl took over. As the little girl - now in her teens- moved towards college, she loved nights for the solitude where she would study, surf the Internet, chat with friends etc. She would only sleep when she was exhausted!

As time went by, the grown-up girl fell in love, got married, had her children and in the entire razzmatazz of life, her beauty sleep was lost. She would feel lucky if she could sleep through one night peacefully without being worried about an intruder, anxious about kids, thinking about what to cook for the next meal, preparing her thoughts for the next day's meeting and her brain doing a flash back of the entire day. She would wake up all groggy wondering why would the sun shine so early and so bright. She would miss the days when she would sleep like a baby as a little girl!

One day a fairy came into her dreams and told her "Woman, sleep follows a cycle, you would have it in abundance towards the beginning and end of your life. The time in between is to enjoy your sleepless nights - after all you are lucky to have so many things which require your attention that you would need both day and night to look after."

The girl felt good - she doesn't crave for sleep anymore...she sleeps whenever she can with a smile.

Run...

There is a rather interesting person in my office who keeps preaching that running is good for me and that he runs everyday, that running keeps him and everyone fit, he runs despite an injury, he runs to support a charity, he runs a marathon and he keeps running...I could not agree with him more that if there was 'the best thing you could do with your two legs' - it would be running!! Then why do I squirm or get irritated at the mention of exercise? Can't I take out just half hour from my daily schedule and exercise? Problem is that I am not able to - at least not consistently.

Our days are so packed that whenever I have sometime to myself I prefer reading, checking mails, watching little bit of TV, catching up with friends etc. So either I do what I love to do putting my feet up or sweat it out in the gym. And then there are some for whom exercise is a way of life but such inspiring stories are not good enough to push me to the gym - then what will?

- A highly motivated husband who is incredibly regular about his workout and keeps comparing our weights?
- A new gymming wardrobe?
- A handsome trainer?
- A female friend for company?
- A son who says "mama have you become fat"?
- A favorite jeans/dress that I am unable to fit into?
- A colleague who goes to Aerobics before coming to office?
- A whole bunch of other ladies who are working out while I am chatting away in the park?
- A friend who is aiming for size zero?
- A couple of prying eyes which are measuring you from head to toe to conclude that you have indeed put on weight?
- A thought of how a slice of cheese is getting deposited somewhere under the skin and not getting burned?

Gosh, all of them. Am off to a walk - if not running. Are you running the next marathon??

10 ways to keep your sanity as a working mom (in random order)

1. Shout; take out your frustrations at hubby, kid, maid, driver, mom (sometimes), friends (if they let you)...you will feel good but in most cases you will have to watch out for long term repurcussions

2. Trust; everyone. You should be trusting enough to leave your brand new maid with your son; trust that after locking themselves out of the house once they will not do that again

3. Delegate; to colleagues, neighbours, driver, cook etc. The more hands you have to work the better and obviously you have to Trust them all to get your presentations, veggies, fruits, flowers, grocery etc. delivered

4. Listen; everyone has questions - S has many (some 100 per 30 mins); some have issues - colleagues have them, maids have them, family has them; while hubby just wants you to listen. Period.

5. Alert; keep your ears and eyes open ALL the time - at home, work, car, shops; Regard Sherlock Holmes as your guru

6. Stand; no, you cannot sit when you are a working mom. Run around in your office so you are visible to all the bosses, stand for networking, run behind S, stand up for yourself, stand as a rock behind your family - so no one really likes it when you sit down, even to watch TV

7. Energy; Bring out the energy in you - after a long day at work with some inane and inconclusive meetings, dealing with some crisis at home, you should still have the energy to go for dinner with hubby - life's pleasures

8. Breathe; Inhale all the stress and exhale warmth and compassion; otherwise just regular inhale and exhale exercises should help. A Smile will also do a great deal of benefit

9. Dream - for you and your world; Something's gotta kick you out of your bed everyday even if you slept an hour ago

10. Be Proud - of your world that you created!!

Creativity begins @ home!!

Februay 2009 has been significant in the lives of Hubby, S and me - moving into our own apartment/house/abode/nest, where we have put in almost everything we had right from the monies to the dreams. It does take a lot to build a house and I now have a new found respect to all those who have taken the plunge. And for those who haven't, it is a tough call - to invest in a house vs. any other asset. I believe, at the end of the day, it all depends on you as a couple or individuals...it is a very personal choice.

Nevertheless, the journey of setting up our place has been hugely satisfying, creatively - from spending hours on the Internet checking out the latest trends in home design, to doing a lot of leg work esp. to commercial street, to drawing sketches of what you imagined, to the anxiety of how all will shape up, to finally seeing them transform into reality. We had a few ideas when we started but all started falling in place when we selected a particular theme - we wanted simple lines, darker tone and slightly oriental touch to the house. Ask me why Oriental - because it is simple and uncluttered! At least that's my definition...have to refer to some of my int. designer friends for the correct definition.

It has been extremely exciting journey for the both of us who were rather novices when we started. We learnt as we progressed and had innumerable arguments on what we should do or should not. It got us into umpteen embarassing situations in front of the shop wallahs, carpenters, family and friends who thought we completely lost it and are on the verge of breaking-up! But you can guess who had the last word, right? You have to be assertive sometimes...;)

Apart from the two of us and S, who had his own choices, the other character in the scheme of things was, Khan, our woodwork contractor, who had super strong beliefs about what is good for us. We really had to convince him that we want it simple and straight - no intricate detailing and carving for us. But he was sound enough to give us the right advise, when needed. We pushed him both on quality and the pace and he obliged by having the most efficient employees and got the work done bang on time. We have been lucky that way. Moving in was more or less smooth with no major losses. We are now relishing what we created - S drags everyone who visits us to his room and swiches off the lights - his room glows in the dark, thanks to Asian Paints!! We have had a few unannounced visitors who just wanted to see how we have done up our house and have complimented us for the effort.

While the outcome for us is important, it is the entire process which fascinated us. We have never looked harder at friend'hs houses for ideas or faults. I never believed that I will be able to measure everything in the house and prepare sketches of what I wanted. I was thrilled to see that my ugly sketches were turned into huge wardrobes and an elegant kitchen. Hubby managed to design his own TV unit and DVD storage. He pulled off the entire project in remarkable amount of time. Never really seen him so excited about going to commercial street and hankering on which handles would look good!! What fun!

Now almost a month into the new house, the process is still ongoing - the kind of carpet you want, the exquisite curio that you saw the other day, the drapes are not thick enough, the sofas have to be shampooed, the dream dressser is still to be made, the bed has to be remodeled - and so your association with the wood work guys goes on...

There is no limit to what can be done out of a piece of wood/metal. All it takes is to give it the shape of YOUR imagination! And that's my profound take...:)

White Christmas

This vacation we decided to drive down to Puducherry (Pondicherry) on Christmas Eve, which was a rather impulsive decision. Best thing being that it came from hubby dear who hates driving. So we quickly packed a few clothes, lots of snacks, and some good music and off we were to Pondi. Since we started very early in the morning, we beat the Bangalore traffic effectively and post Hosur to Krishnagiri, it was an awesome drive. I was all envious of hubby who was enjoying it all and refusing to pass on the wheel. We stopped in between for some nice dosas for breakfast at Adyar Anand Bhavan. The fun kind of ended there because as soon as you go beyond Krishnagiri, the potholes seem to get bigger and deeper – wonder about govts. not investing in basic infrastructure. Anyway, after hours and hours of driving we finally reached outskirts of Pondi – while we were looking at some scenic beauty, it was all very dusty and crowded. It was only when we finally entered Pondi that we were welcomed by this nice little Union Territory – the only UT I have been to so far after Delhi was declared a state. Day 1 was spent with the visit to the famous rocky beach and Aurobindo Ashram while Day 2 was spent at the lovely Auroville. The road leading up to the visitor center in Auroville is charming, unwinding and a little mysterious. For shoppers, they have some lovely boutiques. I spent just about 45 mins at that boutique but that was enough for my hubby – he complained as to how I didn’t care for the hungry kid and him and selfishly went shopping…these men I tell you.

After our short and sweet sight seeing at Pondi, we drove down again – this time from Pondi to Mammalapuram (Mahabalipuram). What a road (ECR) along side the beach!! It was by far one the best roads we have driven on (think next to the Delhi-Jaipur one). It was afternoon of Day 2 we reached Mahabs, we spent sometime on the seashore temple of the Pandavas well preserved by the Archaelogical Survey of India and then straight onto the beach. By this time, S was all bored with traveling and was whining for everything – who said holidaying with kids was easy. So we quickly headed back to Pondi and made him chill at the hotel for sometime, which by the way is his favorite place while holidaying.

One of things that we thoroughly enjoyed (was obviously the all white French colony and everything “Le” and “La”) were the restaurants some of which had this European/French feel. Rendezvous on Rue Suffren was one of them – nice open terrace facing a typical French house. I bought a nice cuban cigar for hubby from here.

The other one is the beach-facing, roof-top restaurant of The Promenade – hotel by HiDesign. Lovely ambience…and guess what we had Santa Claus walk in with a red satin goody bag for S - what more could we ask for on a Christmas Eve. We packed the traditional plum cake from a wonderful bakery in the city –Baker’s Street which we just chanced upon while we were driving – for us and friends and drove back all pleased spending Christmas in the all-white city!!

Which school?

Here's an interesting article posted yesterday in - The Juggle, on WSJ.com, a blog that I follow - on which school will Michelle Obama pick for her kids in Washington.

School Choice: Where Should the Obama Kids Go? http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/

The topic although is US-centric throws light on few very basic yet pertinent parenting choices - how much does the choice of school for your kids depend on your housing, your lifestyle, your status, your background, your education, your expectations, and somewhere, your dreams (?).

Your comments...

Flying Coach!

While rushing into a meeting, it occured to me that I should write something about my current short business trip to US - and yes I had to fly coach :(

For starters, it was rather a last minute decision (not mine!) to fly down only for a week. The idea of being away from the family and flying soooo far to the US of A, was giving me a tug of anguish.

The family was well prepared for it but preparing S for one week on 'no Mommy'was hard. From experience, I can say that it is always better to prepare kids for the future- which could even be a week of lots of time with granparents and father. S is quite a reasonable kid, I must say, provided you give him the right reasons!

Until I was about to catch a taxi for the airport, he asked me multiple follow-up questions:

- "Why do you have to go?"
- "Who is your boss - is that a he or a she?"
- "Can i speak to he/she? I will scold them for this."
- I was trying to show him the positive side (read bribe) of toys from US, he goes "Why? I don't need more toys? My room is full of them"...:(

Ending it with the most dreaded statement - "Mama, don't go!". That very moment, you would want to give it all up, put in your papers, tell your bosses - family is priority, and just be with your baby. Finally, I did manage to explain to him which perhaps would mean little to him. Phew. These goodbyes are emotionally draining.

Here I am in NY now, leading a forced bachelor life, which too is not bad, except that I am not used to it. This is my second time to US and the first thing that strikes are the beautiful country roads lined with trees in fall colours - quite picturesque. The other thing that strikes you is technology, overdone sometimes! And, the third which is different from last time I was here is the Presidential election and signs of recession everywhere. Whichever form of media you pick, its either Obama or the banks. Overall, this has been a nice experience to take back.

Travel for working mothers is somewhat inevitable. The best thing (which may not be wise sometimes) to do is to accept only the critical ones and then limit the duration. There are some professions, such as consulting, where one has to be at the client site for 4 days a week and be back for the weekend - great profession when you are single, difficult with kid, impossible with kid(s)! As you go along, the choice between the travel-linked assignments, which add tremendous weight to your CV and your priorities, is a tough call. You got to be lucky if your management would understand that - infact, they should. After all, they have to believe in diversity!! :)

So how do you manage...?

Believe me, since the time I have starting working after having a kid (or even perhaps concieved), which is about almost five years, I would have answered this question a zillion times, to every colleague/friend/aquaintance/relative we met.

Following is a short description of how we manage our chaotic, highly dependable (!) lives:

We got Susheela home when she was about 18 years old from an agency in Delhi as a baby care taker and domestic help. Living in Delhi was a dream as I would call my parents/sister (all in town) even when S (our son) would sneeze. Susheela was this timid and shy girl who towards the end of two years of staying with us, I can proudly say, became confident and independent. We were this one big (3+our maid) happy family - son was growing up to be inquisitive, bratty and fiercely independent – much to the delight of this working couple who were incidentally doing fairly ok in their respective careers squeezing out as much "quality time" as possible.

Life was so far smooth albeit a few hiccups here and there but thrown into a tizzy by second half on '07 - We moved to Bangalore and after few months of pleading and prodding, Susheela finally decided to go to Assam to meet family, dashing all our hopes to dirt. To be fair, she was with us for more than two years, like "family", so we gave her a happy farewell with my mind already getting flooded with THE worry of finding a trustworthy and long lasting domestic help and her training!

Next morning, we called for a local 9-6 help – although my job is/was/always demanding, I adjusted to her schedule. She worked for less than a month, took her salary with which she would buy clothes for her kids for Christmas and went off for two days vacation, which got extended to 10 days (so I was informed on a roaming mobile phone) and then to infinity. They too have a life and you got to be FAIR!

I was reeling under tremendous pressure -- new city, new job, no domestic help, a silent crusader running on two little legs, a TV addict but extremely supportive hubby – I pressed the panic button and shamelessly sent an SOS to my parents in Delhi. Poor guys came flying, always there to bail my sister and me of such petty but life changing issues.

With them around life was great, S was happiest although my hubby was complaining of over exposure to in-laws! We posted my parents-in-law to be the next in line and with that we covered the first quarter of the year peacefully but the hunt was always ON!

We got lucky the fourth time - our fourth maid stayed for almost two years and has now chosen to get married and you know, settle down (not bothering to work and all unlike mere mortal like me!). While the hunt in ON again and guess who is coming to our rescue now - my parents in-law! God bless our parents, they are never annoyed at our SENSEX-kind of lives. If you ask me what keeps me going, its theirs and my dear hubby's support. Undoubtedly!

Our life’s like that and all the Susheelas make it quite happening. Sometimes I wonder if my constant struggle to balance ‘life: read marriage -motherhood-relationships-home’ vs. ‘work’ is really worth it. Will I be less paranoid, will life be more peaceful, less stressful – may be yes, may be not. I will, however, keep you posted about our progress in the subsequent quarters and many others…

Disclaimer: With no intentions to hurt anyone's sentiments!

Momdom & Works launched!!

Yupppiee!! Am excited about launching my blog after years of contemplation. I will pour out views on Momdom - parenting, juggling momhood with a professional career, favorite food, places, friends etc. etc.